Wonderful Toys

When I was a kid, I had a few action figure toys, G.I. Joes of course, and it’s unfortunate that I played with them so hard.  Wanting to provide a sense of realism to the G.I. Joes, after battle, they suffered from missing limbs and other physical injuries.  Of course these modifications drastically reduced their value as a collector’s item in today’s market.  But, if the toys suggested by Shonk, actually come to market, I could start a whole new collection.

I wonder how these two would get along?

“Activist Chad: a student at an obscure New England private college who uses his Spring Break to disrupt IMF and World Bank meetings. Comes complete with gas mask, spray paint (for protest signs), smoke bombs, and multiple ticket stubs from last night’s showing of Farenheit 9-11. Saul Alinsky’s, Rules For Radicals not included.”


“Patriotic Jim: Though he’s never been in the military, this trailer-park denizen idolizes soldiers and refers to them as “our boys”. Comes complete with semi-auto rifle, stained wifebeater and membership in the Republican Party. Passing grade from gun-safety course not included.”

But I think I’d really like a couple of these, strictly as collector items, to set on my bookshelf.

“shonk: an inveterate cynic who devotes his time to sarcastic criticism rather than doing any actual work. Comes complete with over-used, expensive laptop, excessive free time and contempt for pretty much everybody. Original ideas not included.”

“Modern times call for modern action figures.”

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