AARP - Are You Sick or Something?

I’ll shortly hit the half century mark, and in commemoration of this auspicious event the AARP, always on the ball and in search of aging recruits to swell their ranks like an aged persons ankles, has sent me an AARP membership application, though I am assured that my admission is “guaranteed,” if I am the age of 50 or over.  Isn’t that special?

The AARP “application” informs me that I will receive handsome benefits, in exchange for my sixteen dollar ($16.00) membership payment, good for one (1) year, which are as follows.  The “award-winning” AARP The Magazine, AARP website access, which anyone can access anyway, the AARP Bulletin, and lots of AARP email spam in the form of newsletters.  Other benefits the AARP promises are discounts on travel and other services, access to health related benefits, note that said access to health related benefits is not a guarantee of benefit, and access to financial programs.

Additionally, the AARP membership application informs me that another of the benefits I’ll enjoy for joining AARP is that they will provide a spokesperson for my rights, in case I’ve gone mute or lost my marbles I guess, to represent me in Washington and all 50 states, fighting age dimscrimination, protecting pension rights, Social Security and Medicare.  My own personal lobbyist whose job is to somehow enable me to claim what I have not earned, with the State as my strong armed robber and the AARP as the State’s cheerleader.  How nice.

To round out the benefits which are to accrue to me for turning 50 years old the AARP also notes that they have over 2,000 local chapters, safe driving courses, volunteer opportunities and a reduced-fee legal service network.  Wow!

In small print, on the back of the detachable AARP application, for aging folks who can still read unaided by spectacles, magnifying glass or other reading aid, I am informed that if I become an AARP member they will share my information with companies the AARP has selected to provide AARP member benefits and which “support AARP operations.”  Though I can opt out of this information sharing by calling an 800 number or emailing them, if I joined, it would probably be too late for my opting out to be effective, as the application would have been processed and my information sold via payment by the selected companies’ support for AARP operations.

I’m going to pass on joining, as I do not need or want the AARP’s supposed benefits of membership, and besides, these type of groups make me want to aarp in my commode.

Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) on 03/03 at 09:10 AM

  1. Yea, they’ve been after me for about 5 years now and I still don’t see the point. In fact, by telling me they’ll spread my info around is enough to keep me away. Just yesterday I got their package in the mail, again, complete with membership card and a whole fireplace full of other assorted paperwork. They help keep us warm in the winter….

    BTW: How long will it be before mailboxes are considered trashcans and must be removed from the curb by the end of the day?

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)  on  03/03  at  12:50 PM

  2. I not only continue to get their trash, but I get trash in the name of my “brother” Harry, the fictitious voter ACORN invented for the 2004 election (as if I’d share my house with a Democrat…). I quit AAA for the same reason

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)  on  03/03  at  01:52 PM

  3. My dad would roll over in his grave if he knew they were on the Democrats side on Health Care Deform, despite the fact that most AARP members will fare worse under such legislation.

    He joined decades ago, probably lured in by discounts on motels and such.  I vaguely recall him dropping out, but I couldn’t swear to it.

    Posted by Elliot  on  03/03  at  05:58 PM

  4. My wife used to get their magazine free for the waiting area of her beauty shop. It is chock full of liberal drivel and pictures of dried up old hags like Sally Fields.

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)  on  03/04  at  07:47 PM

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