Wednesday, March 03, 2010

AARP - Are You Sick or Something?

I’ll shortly hit the half century mark, and in commemoration of this auspicious event the AARP, always on the ball and in search of aging recruits to swell their ranks like an aged persons ankles, has sent me an AARP membership application, though I am assured that my admission is “guaranteed,” if I am the age of 50 or over.  Isn’t that special?

The AARP “application” informs me that I will receive handsome benefits, in exchange for my sixteen dollar ($16.00) membership payment, good for one (1) year, which are as follows.  The “award-winning” AARP The Magazine, AARP website access, which anyone can access anyway, the AARP Bulletin, and lots of AARP email spam in the form of newsletters.  Other benefits the AARP promises are discounts on travel and other services, access to health related benefits, note that said access to health related benefits is not a guarantee of benefit, and access to financial programs.

Additionally, the AARP membership application informs me that another of the benefits I’ll enjoy for joining AARP is that they will provide a spokesperson for my rights, in case I’ve gone mute or lost my marbles I guess, to represent me in Washington and all 50 states, fighting age dimscrimination, protecting pension rights, Social Security and Medicare.  My own personal lobbyist whose job is to somehow enable me to claim what I have not earned, with the State as my strong armed robber and the AARP as the State’s cheerleader.  How nice.

To round out the benefits which are to accrue to me for turning 50 years old the AARP also notes that they have over 2,000 local chapters, safe driving courses, volunteer opportunities and a reduced-fee legal service network.  Wow!

In small print, on the back of the detachable AARP application, for aging folks who can still read unaided by spectacles, magnifying glass or other reading aid, I am informed that if I become an AARP member they will share my information with companies the AARP has selected to provide AARP member benefits and which “support AARP operations.”  Though I can opt out of this information sharing by calling an 800 number or emailing them, if I joined, it would probably be too late for my opting out to be effective, as the application would have been processed and my information sold via payment by the selected companies’ support for AARP operations.

I’m going to pass on joining, as I do not need or want the AARP’s supposed benefits of membership, and besides, these type of groups make me want to aarp in my commode.

Posted by John Venlet on 03/03 at 09:10 AM
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